Bit of the Bluegrass

I will now be writing at Bit of the Bluegrass. Bit of the Bluegrass is a new lifestyle site that shares the joys of living in Kentucky. We have a little bit of everything and we are geared towards a slightly younger, hipper crowd than most publications dealing with life in the Bluegrass State.
I will definitely still be writing here because, as my brother recently pointed out to me, I have a lot of anger towards -well -people. This is true, I won't deny it. But I would like to qualify the "people". I cannot stand stupid/ignorant/bigoted/small-minded/loud-mouthed/moronic people. I realize that this covers a rather wide demographic, but really if people would just listen to me in the first place then we wouldn't have such problems, now would we.
That is where Bit of the Bluegrass comes in. It is my chance to be pro-active, so to speak. I find that I do a lot of bitching about my neighbors. Now I can focus on more of the positive aspects of living in KY.  And turns out, there are quite a few. I intend to chronicle every one of them.
http://www.bitofthebluegrass.com/

Way to Go, Captain Obvious!

A recent NBC/WSJ news poll stated that Americans are dissatisfied with Congress. Reeeeeaaaalllly?!? I, for one am shocked and awed! To think that our congress could not do their jobs to a level satisfactory. . .sorry, I couldn't keep a straight face on that one.
Of course Americans are fed up with Congress! I also get upset with my kids when they fight with each other just for the sake of arguing. But here's the thing - they are KIDS! And contrary to all available evidence, members of Congress are not, in fact, children. Though who could tell. What with them arguing over everything up to and including the color of the sky.
In other breaking news 75% of Americans now agree that water is wet. 5% said that it was, of course, not wet. The remaining 20% said that they were waiting on Sarah Palin to tell them what to think about it.

From Russia with Intrigue

Have y'all been following this Russian spy crap? I didn't even know the Russians even still cared. I thought they were jsut hanging out with the rest of the world drinking vodka and waiting on us to F it up. But they have put together a spy ring that looks like, well, I'm not exactly sure and that's kind of the point.
They had the requisite Bond Girl-like siren. Evidently it was her job to infiltrate the NYC party scene and report back to Moscow that boots are in for fall and the new Sex and the City movie was rather disappointing. Then there was the soccer parents, we'll call them Boris and Natasha, who were spying on their suburban neighbors, one of whom was an investment banker. The last vaguely democratic thing this poor guy did was write a sizable check to the Clintons. And then, just for flavor I suppose, there is the Spanish language reporter. What the hell?!? Where does she fit in? "Yo quero Smirnoff!"
Then to top it all off, the alleged ring-leader of this whole bad-news bears spy ring, we'll call him Fearless Leader, was caught in Cypress. And what does the government of Cypress do? They turn him loose. On bail, of course. Oh, well, if you made him post bail. . . You idiots! He's a Russian spy! Christ on toast, don't you people ever watch a freakin' bond movie.
Or, hell, even Austin Powers would have handled the situation better than this whole debacle. He is, after all, an international man of mystery. Now, if you'll excuse me, my neighbor, Ivana is knocking and she's looking a little nervous.

Just Sayin'. . .

So I was just trying to occupy myself with a little online retail therapy. I thought I would once again pray to the commercial gods by giving my money to Old Navy. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a cheap Tshirt. I go to type in the sites address on my laptop when I'm interrupted by one of my monkeys beautiful children so that I only got as far as www.o when I accidentally hit enter. As you can imagine there is no www.o but what was the first thing my automatic google search turn up. http://www.oreilly-sucks.com/ . A site dedicated to news and information about Bill OReilly, Fox News, the real No Spin Zone, yada yada yada.
So out of all the websites that begin with "O" on the whole wide world, the one that google thinks is most relevant is oreilly-sucks.com. Couldn't agree more. Just sayin'. . .

The Gift of Eloquence

I was supposed to go to Ireland this year. It is my hubby and my self's tenth wedding anniversary in August. When we got married we were 20 and 22 years old and quite frankly, poorer than church mice. Heck, church mice looked at us with pity. We didn't have much of a wedding and we promised ourselves that for our tenth anniversary we would do something special. A sort of second honeymoon, if you will. "But time runs on, runs on."
I went back to school and we had two babies. My husband, bless him, kept his nose to the grindstone and did his job and did it well, eventually becoming Captain of an Inland Towing Vessel. He's a towboater and I'm a stay-at-home mommy. Two things that I daresay we would never have imagined ourselves being 10 years ago. "But time runs on, runs on."
Eventually we saved enough money to move out of our dumpy one bedroom apartment into a little house. It was small but we loved it and were proud of it. We bought our first new vehicle, my husband trading in his circa-high school sports car to buy us a dependable family car. When our family got bigger we built our dream house on a hill. It's far from a McMansion and not even very fancy, but that's us I suppose. Casual and fun-loving with big dreams."But time runs on, runs on."
We've taken family vacations to that most American of family destinations - Disney World, we've gone to lake houses in Wisconsin, explored caves right here in Kentucky, visited beaches in Florida and South Carolina, and hiked the Great Smokey Mountains in Tennessee. For my husbands 30th birthday we, with a group of our best friends, spent a long weekend in Sin City - Las Vegas, Nevada. And for my 30th birthday we flew 1,000 miles halfway across the country to Oklahoma City, OK to see my very favorite band in the world -U2. Needless to say, neither one of us looked on our 30th birthdays with distaste. Actually I wonder what 40 will bring? "But time runs on, runs on."
Now it is time for the anniversary of our wedding to roll around and there was no where my husband and I wanted to visit more than Ireland. My husband said "Anywhere in the world, babe." Shopping in Paris, museum hopping in Rome, Safari in Africa, beach bumming in Hawaii, Mediterranean cruise perhaps? No thank you. I want to go to Ireland! My husband could not agree more.
So we bought all the travel books and watched all the shows on Travel Channel trying to build our wish list and itinerary. We even went so far to get some sample itineraries and quotes from myguideIreland. They could not have been more helpful. Their website is very informative and thoughtfully laid out. They answered my emails promptly and even went so far to call me personally on the telephone to finalize details.
Why Ireland? some might ask. Why not Ireland, I respond. I want to see castles and rolling green hills. I want to drink in a pub and see where Guinness is made. I want to walk where poets walked and walk. I don't want to lay on some beach drinking mai tais until my eyes cross. I want to wrap up in a heavy Irish wool sweater and feel the cool breeze and rainy mist on my face and drink Jameson's until my eyes cross. I want to kiss the Blarney Stone and receive the gift of eloquence. Hubby wasn't too sure about that one, but like I pointed out, I ain't flying half-way around the world to go on my dream vacation and not kiss that damn rock! "But time runs on, runs on."
As I've said, my husband is a towboater and part of what that means is that he works for 28 days and is home for 28 days. Having him home for six months a year is certainly wonderful, but unfortunately he only has six months to do everything that needs done. Family obligations, holidays, the kids school schedules, doctors appointments, and house maintenance all take precedence over our travel schedule. However, we started early. We got out our calender, marking off all the dates that were absolutely out of the question, and finally came up with the end of September as the best time for us to go. We can't go in August on our actual anniversary because Hubby will be. . .on a boat. We made all other necessary scheduling plans accordingly. Until last week. Last week I realized that September 25 is my Dad's birthday.
Of course September 25 has always been my Dad's birthday. This is nothing new, or even orriginal. What is special, however, is that this year my Dad turns 50. The big 5-0! And he wants to celebrate it at our families lake house in northern Wisconsin. 900 miles away. And since I had, previous to adding two and two together, planned an elaborate "Things that are older than Dad" routine and a multi tiered gift involving some pretty elaborate planning and secret keeping (that I just realized I can't reveal here because he is a regular reader. Good ol' Dad!), it would be pretty selfish of me not to be there. My Dad would protest and say "No no, go on your trip" But come on, it's my Dad and he's turning 50. "But time runs on, runs on."
So I guess it is curtains for my Ireland trip this year. My husband assures me that we will just  save our money and take a bigger and longer trip next year. That's nice, I say, knowing that next year it will be something else. Or the year after that, or the year after that. Honestly, I can feel the tears as I write this. I have cried many tears for Ireland and I've never even been there. It must be as beautiful and magical and faery-filled as I imagine. Else, why would I want to go so badly?
Someday, I promise myself, I will walk the hills of Ireland. I will sleep in a castle. I will drink a pint in a pub. I will buy my children fine Irish wool and maybe myself some beautiful Waterford crystal. I will kiss the Blarney Stone and I will come back to the States the most eloquent southern belle that ever walked. I promise myself all of these things and yet. . .
". . .time runs on, runs on."