Marriage Confusion - or something kind of like it

As I set and watch my news this morning, I am moderately surprised to see that West Virginia, my neighboring state (with more air time than sense), has decided to have their state supreme court (supreme being a relative term) define marriage. Of course that definition would be that marriage exists between a man and a woman.
What the Hell? Are you kidding me? Are you homo-hating conservs really that threatened that you have to define marriage? Yes, I know other states have done it. But if Alabama jumped off a bridge, would you? Don't answer that.
Now before I go any further let me say that I consider West Virginia one of the most beautiful states in the country. The natural beauty cannot be matched. Unfortunately that beauty does not extend to its people. The problem with West Virginia is that it's filled with West Virginians.
Back to the point at hand. Why do we have to be married at all? One local attorney in my hometown recently ran an add in our paper that he would personally pay for the wedding of any couple in the community that had been co-habitating for a certain amount of time. WTF? Why this sudden need to have all the heteros happily married off?
I don't think that any of us need to be "married" at all. I think the laws should be changed so that any couple (no matter their sexual affiliation) should be able to go to the courthouse and obtain a civil union, or partnership, or whateverthehell you want to call it. It should be treated like the business partnership that it in fact is. Then if you want to have a wedding, then that is a private thing for you to deal with with your spiritual leader, or not. To share with your family and friends, or not.
I just don't get why it has to be so damn hard. If I want to take my dog down to the courthouse and enter into a partnership with him, I should be allowed to. Now if we later decide to make vows in front of our closest friends and family where I vow to keep his food bowl always full and he vows to not lick his balls on my good rug - well then that's between me and my dog. As it should be.

Ellen - take my kids. Please!

I was taking my kids to school this morning and I had the radio tuned to the local station WUGO/WGOH 102.3 in Grayson, KY) to try and get a little weather info for my day. They were talking and talking, as they are prone to do, about a whole lot of nothing when voice A said that he had something interesting to share that had to do with mother's day.
He had a poll that someone had done about how people feel about celebrity mothers. It was mildly interesting. Best celebrity mother - Jennifer Garner. OK, if you say so. Best celebrity step-mother - Jada Pinkett-Smith. Yeah, she seems pretty cool. Worst celebrity mom - Courtney Love. Totally, but whatever. Like I said, it was mildly interesting drive time prattle. Until . . .
Voice A then shifts his voice and says that there is a part of the poll he doesn't agree with. "Oh?" asks Voice B, "What would that be?" Evidently he already knows. Now this station is an admittedly conservative, quasi-Christian entity and I have often said that if I won the lottery the first thing I am doing is buying the station and changing it to indie/alt rock and my drive time show would be called "Shut the Hell Up". So I was kind of ready for some sort of unwed mother republican bullshit. But, yes it's true, they even surprised me. Turns out ignorance know no bounds.
The question was what celebrity would you be most willing to leave your kids with. Hmm, that's a good one I thought. What could people have possibly said that would have gotten these gas bags panties in such a wad? Brittney? Nah, who in their right mind would leave their kids w/ her? That's a real head scratcher.
So, wanna know who they deemed such an unfit role model, such a "sad commentary on the way our society thinks today", who no decent God-fearing, bible-thumping republican, should never leave their kids with?
Ellen. Ellen freakin' DeGeneres. And her "gay lover, partner,whatever, I'll not call her wife 'cause in the eyes of God they're not married Portia DeRossi."
Are you fucking kidding me? Ellen DeGeneres is the biggest threat to child development out there? Give me break, people. God forbid we would let someone who is in a stable relationship (by whatever label you want to put on it), has a highly successful career, is community and globally minded, is extremely generous, fair, and kindhearted look after your children. No we certainly wouldn't want that, now would we? What a crock of bull.
Hey, Go Radio, get over yourselves. I may not have always agreed with you but I at least respected you for having stuff on the air that I at least knew I wouldn't have to screen for my kids. Not anymore. I will not be tuning in anymore. You may not want your children (or grandchildren, as the case may be) to be exposed to gay people, but I don't want mine to be exposed to Ignorant Dumb Asses. Even my daughter, who is nine BTW and highly politically and socially savvy, couldn't believe it. "What's wrong with Ellen," she screamed. "Ellen's cool!"
That's right, sweetheart. Ellen is cool. But more than that Ellen is someone who I would be proud to let take care of my children. And that's saying something.