Thursday, November 20, 2008

Prayer in School -- I don't think so

I got a forwarded email today to sign a petition to put prayer back in public schools. Obviously such petitions are often futile and will lead to nothing more than filling people's in-boxes and giving them some small sense of purpose that they have done 'The Right Thing'. Now, anyone who has read my blog has probably already guessed what happened to said email. DELETE, of course. But it did get me thinking that perhaps such emails as these, and of course the ones who depict the face of Jesus in the clouds or sunset or some other such bull shit that we're supposed to forward to 10 'friends' in the next 24 hours or we'll come down with a raging case of Taiwanese Cat Flu or something, are really just symptoms of a messed up world.
Now please, don't send me emails telling me that I am a horrible person and that I just need to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior for all to be right with my world. Do I? Will it, really? So, enough. You are just wasting your time, not to mention mine. If you have embraced Jesus, or any other deity of your choice, and such a choice brings peace and meaning to your life, then I am happy for you. I myself have made a different choice and I am quite fine with it. Please do not concern yourself on my account.
Which leads me back to the bible-beating emailer. I was vaguely surprised to get any correspondence from this person at all. Evidently they are still trying to 'save' me. I say still because this is not the first unrequited attempt this person has made for my soul. About a year ago I opened my mailbox to find one of those little envelopes that either means you have gotten a Thank-You note from someones baby shower or your kid has gotten birthday invitation that you will be obliged to attend. Imagine my surprise when it was neither. I opened it up and it was a picture of Jesus (I'm just assuming here, having never met the man myself) cradling a little lamb. Sweet, but I'm still unmoved. I open it up to see what is on the inside wondering to myself that it is a little early for Christmas cards. Nope, no Christmas Card either.
Inside was a hand written note (always a nice touch when you're condescending to someone) that read "You are in my thoughts. I am praying for you during this time." What the hell? What time? It was not as if I, or someone in my family were dealing with a serious illness or a death. My life was really in a pretty good place at the time (still is for the record) and I couldn't figure out why someone would feel the need to pray for me. I looked further down the card to where it was signed simply "Blessings". No name but, Aha. The way the person had signed Blessings was strangely similar to the way that they had signed their last name on a birthday card a few weeks ago. I am, of course, no FBI handwriting analysis, but come on. I knew who it was and what she had done.
She had Hit-and-Run Prayer Carded me.
I had known this person since high school and we had always been pretty good friends. That is until she found the Lord. ( I didn't know he was missing) I have lots of Christian friends and all of them that know of my beliefs seem to accept them and at least respect that I am not a horrible person for believing differently than them. Just as I respect their beliefs. But this lady really crossed the line. I had assumed that we were friends only to find out that she thought I was such a terrible person that I needed to be prayed for the 'fix' me so I could still be in her inner circle. Well, save your breath to cool your soup with, lady. I'm just fine. And you can't accept me for who I am then that fine, too. I don't have time to deal with your particular brand of crap anyway.
And while we are at it don't send me any more God-thumping emails. If I didn't fall down upon my knees at sight of your prayer card, I'm certainly not going to sign your prayer in school petition either. Are you retarded?
I wouldn't sign that crap even if anyone else sent it to me. Prayer doesn't belong in school and if you think it does then send your kids to private school. My kids are just fine.
Religion is a personal choice and I for one think out public schools need to be more focused on making sure our children don't fall anymore behind the rest of the developed world in education. Maybe not so much time on saving their souls. Just look at George Bush. I heard he prays a lot. Seems to be working for him . . .Not. I think I'll not stay the course on this one and you, prayer card lady, can like it or lump it.
THE END!

3 comments:

Hunter said...

I love it. I'm sure this won't offend anybody... Kudos!

Greg said...

The thing I like about you is how subtle you are. :) Love your blog--Sarah

AnnCoulterScaresChildren said...

This is funny. I hope that I have a prayer card lady one day.